They were my husband's. Their experience of Tom's transformation and the break-up of our marriage is hands down the ugliest and most painful aspect of this story. Among women who consider themselves feminists, a man who declares himself a transsexual trumps another woman any day. Only the lipstick smears weren't on my husband. Tom shaved off the beard he had been wearing since I met him at Sex , among other things, would never be the same. One of Tom's supporters would eventually sum up this perspective most explicitly: I've been trying to keep them out of your sight.
The next afternoon we took a walk on a winding country road, with Lilly, not yet two, in the buggy, and Adam and Bibi on bicycles. In our joint account I saw payments to a voice coach. I still thought he was investing gender with a power to resolve his childhood problems. Did the kids notice Tom's transformation? It looked terrible, but of course that was beside the point. We never spoke of the discomfort Tom had once expressed about his gender — but those feelings had been resolved long ago, hadn't they? Over the years that followed, there were moments when Tom seemed distant and preoccupied, but for the most part we were in harmony. For more than a year and a half, I put off telling them. Tom shaved off the beard he had been wearing since I met him at It felt creepy every time. Many conversations followed from that one, and in this respect Tom remained consistent. Tom and me with one, then two, then three small children, babies in backpacks. Only the lipstick smears weren't on my husband. In recent years I've absorbed Tom's revisions, come to believe I was delusional to think for so long that we were happy. But we never said much about it. Presumably the falsies I found around the house also made him feel better. Photograph courtesy of Christine Benvenuto Such moments packed a breathtaking array of meaning and emotion. He didn't act the same. This understanding was so disturbing, it literally made me nauseous and dizzy. Some names have been changed. Tom and I met and fell in love at college. I wanted desperately to contain the truth for my sake and my children's. The one who intimidated and threatened, who laid down the law and expected me to abide by it. Sex , among other things, would never be the same. I've been trying to keep them out of your sight. He didn't come across as feminine.
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I've lived as a man & a woman -- here's what I learned
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